Saturday, September 27, 2003
CAST OF CHARACTERS: Somebody wake up Rob T, since this story's right in his backyard. A Hollywood producer and his screenwriter partner are suing 20th Century Fox over accusations that Fox stole their idea and turned it into The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Their lawsuit is asking for $100 million dollars in damages, which is $34 mil more than the film actually grossed in wide release.
If this was all there was to it, it wouldn't rate a spot on my list, but there's more; the idea that Gentlemen was adapted from Alan Moore's graphic novel doesn't throw a wrench into the duo's suit, because he was obviously in on it from the start. Mr. Moore was fed the idea by Fox, and in an elaborate conspiracy, published his comic book for no other reason than to provide a "smokescreen" for the plagiarized movie script.
This is what's so fun about conspiracy theories. If something doesn't fit, it can be made to fit. Since there was no other way Moore could've seen the unproduced script while he was developing his graphic novel, he had to be in on it. The idea that having a group of public domain literary characters getting together to solve crimes might have occurred to someone else and the execution was what sold Fox on Moore's take instead of theirs is obviously a foreign concept to our subjects.
This case should be easy to dismiss just from the evidence of Mr. Moore's notebooks. However, the most interesting part is about a case Fox lost:
Fox has been accused of pilfering screenplays before. In March 2001, a small Detroit publishing firm won a multimillion-dollar verdict against Fox after a Michigan jury agreed the movie studio plagiarized the script of a school teacher to make its holiday film "Jingle All the Way," which starred Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I'm stunned I missed this one. I can picture the scene of the schoolteacher running in a dither from the multiplex, grasping his/her head from the implications of what just was flung onto the screen. Finally, they reach the teacherly abode, consumed by a dizzy spell brought on by big-money duplicity. "My idea! Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad STOLE MY BRILLIANT IDEA! I can understand Arnold doing that, but I TRUSTED YOU, SIIIIIINBAAAAAAAD!" Then the teacher collapses sobbing on the ground among a pile of unproduced family movie screenplays, most of which involve children learning life lessons from cantankerous adults, cute animals, or supermodels.
Obviously that one was for real. Who would claim a piece of that movie if it wasn't true?
If this was all there was to it, it wouldn't rate a spot on my list, but there's more; the idea that Gentlemen was adapted from Alan Moore's graphic novel doesn't throw a wrench into the duo's suit, because he was obviously in on it from the start. Mr. Moore was fed the idea by Fox, and in an elaborate conspiracy, published his comic book for no other reason than to provide a "smokescreen" for the plagiarized movie script.
This is what's so fun about conspiracy theories. If something doesn't fit, it can be made to fit. Since there was no other way Moore could've seen the unproduced script while he was developing his graphic novel, he had to be in on it. The idea that having a group of public domain literary characters getting together to solve crimes might have occurred to someone else and the execution was what sold Fox on Moore's take instead of theirs is obviously a foreign concept to our subjects.
This case should be easy to dismiss just from the evidence of Mr. Moore's notebooks. However, the most interesting part is about a case Fox lost:
Fox has been accused of pilfering screenplays before. In March 2001, a small Detroit publishing firm won a multimillion-dollar verdict against Fox after a Michigan jury agreed the movie studio plagiarized the script of a school teacher to make its holiday film "Jingle All the Way," which starred Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I'm stunned I missed this one. I can picture the scene of the schoolteacher running in a dither from the multiplex, grasping his/her head from the implications of what just was flung onto the screen. Finally, they reach the teacherly abode, consumed by a dizzy spell brought on by big-money duplicity. "My idea! Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad STOLE MY BRILLIANT IDEA! I can understand Arnold doing that, but I TRUSTED YOU, SIIIIIINBAAAAAAAD!" Then the teacher collapses sobbing on the ground among a pile of unproduced family movie screenplays, most of which involve children learning life lessons from cantankerous adults, cute animals, or supermodels.
Obviously that one was for real. Who would claim a piece of that movie if it wasn't true?
|| Eric 2:49 PM#
IT'S NOT QUITE ABRAHAM, MARTIN, AND JOHN: Three celeb (or semi-celeb) deaths rated mention on Yahoo's wires today:
--Robert Palmer, best remembered for "Addicted To Love" and those creepy expressionless black-dress robomodels in the video. My favorite Palmer songs came from before that period ("Clues" comes to mind from the pre-suit-and-tie period). A paragon of suave, he will be missed.
--George Plimpton, who might best be remembered by some as a "participatory journalist", especially for his bestseller about his experiences joining the Detroit Lions in training. As an editor for the Paris Review, whose 50th anniversary edition he'd just put to bed the day before he died, he introduced the literary world to men such as Jack Kerouac and Phillip Roth. However, for those of my generation, he's best remembered as the guy in the Intellivision ads.
--Stanley Fafara...um, okay. This one has me flummoxed as to how it made my headlines page. His entire acting career was a couple of movies and the role "Whitey" Whitney on Leave It To Beaver. After that, it was drinking and drugging as a teen, breaking into pharmacies in the '80s, and sliding in and out of drug rehab programs in the early '90s...seemingly the post-adoration path these days for TV child stars. While I feel bad for him not making it past 53, Leave It To Beaver was a show I grew to despise. I'm a bit more charitable about the New Leave It To Beaver from the 80s, but I haven't seen that in a long time either. I can't get all soft about total strangers who never had a second act in life, or even a proper first act.
So what does it all prove? It makes me wonder how the Olsen twins do it, nothing else.
(Edit @ 3:20pm 9/27 for spelling)
--Robert Palmer, best remembered for "Addicted To Love" and those creepy expressionless black-dress robomodels in the video. My favorite Palmer songs came from before that period ("Clues" comes to mind from the pre-suit-and-tie period). A paragon of suave, he will be missed.
--George Plimpton, who might best be remembered by some as a "participatory journalist", especially for his bestseller about his experiences joining the Detroit Lions in training. As an editor for the Paris Review, whose 50th anniversary edition he'd just put to bed the day before he died, he introduced the literary world to men such as Jack Kerouac and Phillip Roth. However, for those of my generation, he's best remembered as the guy in the Intellivision ads.
--Stanley Fafara...um, okay. This one has me flummoxed as to how it made my headlines page. His entire acting career was a couple of movies and the role "Whitey" Whitney on Leave It To Beaver. After that, it was drinking and drugging as a teen, breaking into pharmacies in the '80s, and sliding in and out of drug rehab programs in the early '90s...seemingly the post-adoration path these days for TV child stars. While I feel bad for him not making it past 53, Leave It To Beaver was a show I grew to despise. I'm a bit more charitable about the New Leave It To Beaver from the 80s, but I haven't seen that in a long time either. I can't get all soft about total strangers who never had a second act in life, or even a proper first act.
So what does it all prove? It makes me wonder how the Olsen twins do it, nothing else.
(Edit @ 3:20pm 9/27 for spelling)
|| Eric 1:06 AM#
Friday, September 26, 2003
WELCOME TO ANOTHER TINY MONEY WEEK, in which, thanks to the occasionally transient nature of my current employment's workload, I openly speculate whether I'd get more money cashing my next paycheck or selling the paper it's printed on to the recycling center. My pain, as always, is your gain, since that means I get to read, write and speculate more than any human should, passing the contents of my short-term obsessions on to YOU. Lucky bums.
JUST FINISHED: While Rome Burns by Alexander Woollcott. In honor of getting "the rub" on 411Mania, tonight's postcard from under the flat rock begins by pointing out one of the standard-bearers for magazine columnists. Rome contains 52 pieces of various lengths (never more than 7 pages) published between 1929-33, and in spite of the fact that these days Alexander Woollcott is more often quoted than actually read, you could do worse than have him as a literary role model.
A drama critic at first, the Woollcott of this period was very much a world-class raconteur, the type of guy that would've been famous just for being on the Tonight Show several times a year if he hadn't been long dead before the TV late night talk show was invented. So instead, his primary legacy is inspiring The Man Who Came To Dinner and a few books filled with his skimmings, of which Rome was the best-selling.
Having never known him as more than a name associated with the 1920s and 30s, I was kind of surprised he seemed to have dipped his pen into a bit of everything; a good chunk of real estate in the book was dedicated to the theater beat, literature, true crime, and biographical sketches, although no one subject can be said to have absolute priority. This is the place where you can find the "definitive" version of at least one longstanding urban legend (the one about the lady who vanished from the Paris Exposition), and if you're a student of this American period (that's me, more or less), here is also his famous character sketch of fellow Algonquin Round Table member Dorothy Parker. His theory about what crawled up George Bernard Shaw's butt and died (not in those words, of course) is also a lot of fun for all, except maybe the vegetarians. In spite of the fact that a set of footnotes would help the modern reader figure out the then-current society, literary, and entertainment types that are frequently namechecked in his anecdotes, it's not completely necessary to get the gist of things.
While it's out of print and probably has been for awhile, Rome, as the number one nonfiction bestseller of 1934, should be easy to find at your favorite used book store or in a decent public library.
(Before we move on, I noticed out of all the friends and acquaintances he brought up, he kept coming back to Harpo Marx. I had an interesting feeling there was a good reason Woollcott kept bringing Harpo up, and after a few quick checks online, I found out why. Considering what "confirmed bachelor" usually meant in the old days, I should've known, but my Paul Lynde Decoder Ring is out being cleaned today.)
MERRY COUSINS: I've always said that it's amazing what you find when you're not looking for anything at all, and that goes double for the Internet. A sort of proto-message board community gradually developed in the letter column of a 19th century children's magazine called Robert Merry's Museum. The author of the piece linked below probably read every page in the letter section's 30 year history, and there's definitely a lot of antecedents of what we're up to now, even some toasty (if strictly genteel) little flame wars. That such a thing flourished before the explosion of mass communication is remarkable; that it should take place in the letters column of a magazine is not quite that surprising if you're familiar with the types of letter columns that the small press/Xerox room "zines" of the 1980s. Still, the parallels between various online communities and the Parlor Chat are remarkable, which just goes to show you that some concepts keep shooting through media history until they finally stick.
Don't take my word for it, though. Have a look and tell me what you think.
JUST FINISHED: While Rome Burns by Alexander Woollcott. In honor of getting "the rub" on 411Mania, tonight's postcard from under the flat rock begins by pointing out one of the standard-bearers for magazine columnists. Rome contains 52 pieces of various lengths (never more than 7 pages) published between 1929-33, and in spite of the fact that these days Alexander Woollcott is more often quoted than actually read, you could do worse than have him as a literary role model.
A drama critic at first, the Woollcott of this period was very much a world-class raconteur, the type of guy that would've been famous just for being on the Tonight Show several times a year if he hadn't been long dead before the TV late night talk show was invented. So instead, his primary legacy is inspiring The Man Who Came To Dinner and a few books filled with his skimmings, of which Rome was the best-selling.
Having never known him as more than a name associated with the 1920s and 30s, I was kind of surprised he seemed to have dipped his pen into a bit of everything; a good chunk of real estate in the book was dedicated to the theater beat, literature, true crime, and biographical sketches, although no one subject can be said to have absolute priority. This is the place where you can find the "definitive" version of at least one longstanding urban legend (the one about the lady who vanished from the Paris Exposition), and if you're a student of this American period (that's me, more or less), here is also his famous character sketch of fellow Algonquin Round Table member Dorothy Parker. His theory about what crawled up George Bernard Shaw's butt and died (not in those words, of course) is also a lot of fun for all, except maybe the vegetarians. In spite of the fact that a set of footnotes would help the modern reader figure out the then-current society, literary, and entertainment types that are frequently namechecked in his anecdotes, it's not completely necessary to get the gist of things.
While it's out of print and probably has been for awhile, Rome, as the number one nonfiction bestseller of 1934, should be easy to find at your favorite used book store or in a decent public library.
(Before we move on, I noticed out of all the friends and acquaintances he brought up, he kept coming back to Harpo Marx. I had an interesting feeling there was a good reason Woollcott kept bringing Harpo up, and after a few quick checks online, I found out why. Considering what "confirmed bachelor" usually meant in the old days, I should've known, but my Paul Lynde Decoder Ring is out being cleaned today.)
MERRY COUSINS: I've always said that it's amazing what you find when you're not looking for anything at all, and that goes double for the Internet. A sort of proto-message board community gradually developed in the letter column of a 19th century children's magazine called Robert Merry's Museum. The author of the piece linked below probably read every page in the letter section's 30 year history, and there's definitely a lot of antecedents of what we're up to now, even some toasty (if strictly genteel) little flame wars. That such a thing flourished before the explosion of mass communication is remarkable; that it should take place in the letters column of a magazine is not quite that surprising if you're familiar with the types of letter columns that the small press/Xerox room "zines" of the 1980s. Still, the parallels between various online communities and the Parlor Chat are remarkable, which just goes to show you that some concepts keep shooting through media history until they finally stick.
Don't take my word for it, though. Have a look and tell me what you think.
|| Eric 5:00 AM#
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
THERE'S GONNA BE A SNEAK PREVIEW, AND THE SNEAKS AREN'T GONNA LIKE IT: For those flat-broke jerks (like myself) who haven't been able to pick up the Al Franken book, here's the tale of Supply Side Jesus, a parable for our times. And yes, the cuticles are absolutely perfect.
|| Eric 10:08 AM#
Friday, September 19, 2003
SONG OF MYSELF: In my rush to brag about reading it so fast, I forgot to tell you what I thought about Anthem. I haven't dug too deeply into Ayn Rand (apart from this, I made it through the first 400 pages of Atlas Shrugged before surrendering), so I only have a few gleanings of the underlying philosophy of her works, Objectivism. The story itself is a dystopia, set in a world where the forces of unchecked collectivism have laid low the idea of the worth of the individual. It's a nightmare snarl of groupthink, with a totally arbitrary caste system and where the word "I" has been eliminated from the language. Into this world is born Equality 7-2521, who secretly goes about rediscovering what has been lost from the times before. Even without speedreading, it's a brisk trip through Rand's philosopy.
As for the philosophy itself, and this short book is heavy with it, there are some basic tenets I can agree with right out of the box. For instance, the idea that on some level ego is a prime motivator for many major achievements is easy for me to accept; even Lenny Bruce will tell you that. However, seeing more and more people out of work because of a variety of conditions, I can't agree 100% with the rejection of mankind being a victim of circumstances beyond their control (and the Ayn Rand Institute includes "economic conditions" as part of that definition). I know my current lot is because of bad choices in my past, but those are my conditions, and don't necessarily apply to everybody. Some of the editorials on current events, presumably influenced by the Objectivist worldview, run contrary to my personal views, too.
However, I try not to vote a straight ticket when it comes to matters of the mind. While I probably won't be going wholeheartedly into Objectivism, I'm willing to see what's there that I can use.
It's also worth mentioning that apparently Anthem has fallen out of copyright in the US, and as a consequence, the full text can be found legally through Project Gutenberg.
TAKING OVER THE WORLD, ONE SOUL AT A TIME: I'd like to welcome Tanvir Raquib to the brotherhood of navel-gazers that IS the blogdom community. You may deny it now, but YOU WILL BE ONE OF US.
As for the philosophy itself, and this short book is heavy with it, there are some basic tenets I can agree with right out of the box. For instance, the idea that on some level ego is a prime motivator for many major achievements is easy for me to accept; even Lenny Bruce will tell you that. However, seeing more and more people out of work because of a variety of conditions, I can't agree 100% with the rejection of mankind being a victim of circumstances beyond their control (and the Ayn Rand Institute includes "economic conditions" as part of that definition). I know my current lot is because of bad choices in my past, but those are my conditions, and don't necessarily apply to everybody. Some of the editorials on current events, presumably influenced by the Objectivist worldview, run contrary to my personal views, too.
However, I try not to vote a straight ticket when it comes to matters of the mind. While I probably won't be going wholeheartedly into Objectivism, I'm willing to see what's there that I can use.
It's also worth mentioning that apparently Anthem has fallen out of copyright in the US, and as a consequence, the full text can be found legally through Project Gutenberg.
TAKING OVER THE WORLD, ONE SOUL AT A TIME: I'd like to welcome Tanvir Raquib to the brotherhood of navel-gazers that IS the blogdom community. You may deny it now, but YOU WILL BE ONE OF US.
|| Eric 1:00 AM#
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
OW, MY HEAD: Man, I have a headache right now. To prove to myself that I hadn't lost my fine literary mind after taking nearly a month of inconsistent reading to finish the last book I picked up (never mind that it was 300+ pages of nonfiction, with footnotes), I decided to see how long it would take me to get through Ayn Rand's Anthem in one sitting. The criteria for my choice: I hadn't read it before and it was here, having picked it up from the Salvation Army store a few months ago. I dug in with both hands using the Photoreading technique, which lets your subconscious mind "photograph" the entire book in a few minutes, following by a more conscious "activation" phase (which, in the case of fiction, would be a speedreading step; nonfiction activation can be handled in a few different ways).
The end run: 123 pages of Objectivism in one hour and twenty-three minutes. Not my personal best, but it's reasonable compared to my piss-poor performance lately. Somebody said to me that it's better to get a headache from thinking too much than having one from not thinking at all. I don't think I'll be going that fast with Atlas Shrugged, though.
The end run: 123 pages of Objectivism in one hour and twenty-three minutes. Not my personal best, but it's reasonable compared to my piss-poor performance lately. Somebody said to me that it's better to get a headache from thinking too much than having one from not thinking at all. I don't think I'll be going that fast with Atlas Shrugged, though.
|| Eric 11:56 PM#
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
JUST FINISHED: The Making of the Prefident 1789 by Marvin Kitman. It seems like there are two types of books about history. The first kind is the dry husk of the past, the ones that say, "These are the names and these are the dates. Remember them, because you will be tested later." This is what people dread when they think of History: the marble monuments, the statuaries that the pigeons take a dump on. No blood flowing through it whatsoever.
Marvin Kitman is the other type of history writer, the type that wants to know who the people are under the armor-plated notions, and that brings us to The Making of the Prefident 1789, which is an attempt to put skin on the bone that is the "official" life of George Washington. By taking the modern perspective for his interpretation, Kitman makes for a humorous trip through the Revolution and paints Washington as a guy who became a war hero in spite of his actual battle record, and moved on to president (or "prefident", as he insists on spelling it), monument, bridge, city, etc. in spite of himself. In the process of doing this, we get a side-trip through the skeleton closets of the Founding Whatnots, the woman George left behind, and a few he didn't. It's a ripping read, and full of the types of juicy details your high school teacher left out.
Marvin Kitman is the other type of history writer, the type that wants to know who the people are under the armor-plated notions, and that brings us to The Making of the Prefident 1789, which is an attempt to put skin on the bone that is the "official" life of George Washington. By taking the modern perspective for his interpretation, Kitman makes for a humorous trip through the Revolution and paints Washington as a guy who became a war hero in spite of his actual battle record, and moved on to president (or "prefident", as he insists on spelling it), monument, bridge, city, etc. in spite of himself. In the process of doing this, we get a side-trip through the skeleton closets of the Founding Whatnots, the woman George left behind, and a few he didn't. It's a ripping read, and full of the types of juicy details your high school teacher left out.
|| Eric 10:46 PM#
Monday, September 15, 2003
CLEANUP IN WOMEN'S WEAR: Have you ever gone to Wal-Mart and wondered what that girl in the toy department looked like when she peeled off that smock and name badge? Well, assuming she's not under 18 (and if she's on second shift, the odds are against you, slick), you may very well get your chance, because Playboy, proving how upmarket they are for the 21st century, have decided to do a "Women of Wal-mart" issue.
Walmart is a trailblazer of mediocrity, giving many their first look at the horror that was the Backstreet Boys, so their own Girls Gone Wild pictorial isn't out of the question. Consider for a moment, though, that Wal-Mart is positioning itself as a wholesome family store (ignore for a second the selection of "body massagers" on sale in the center aisle for a moment). They won't even carry Maxim and their suppliers make "special" music CDs without controversial songs or certain pieces of cover work, so there's a good chance that they'll either kill the issue entirely or drop these women like a hot potato as soon as the magazine hits the street. The Mart rep they spoke to mentioned that "this is not a ballpark Wal-mart wants to play in", a threat that shouldn't be taken lightly for people who want to stay employed.
(A rant starts in here somewhere...don't say I didn't warn you...)
The Playboy people say it's about "empowerment", but as ex-Wal-mart, I can tell you that "empowerment" isn't how the hierarchical structure works at the Mart. At some point, it comes down to impotent and futile rage, being lied to on a regular basis by store managers in the name of the bottom line, treated like the disposable component of an impersonal machine that you are, and (if you're over a certain age) being looked upon with undisguised and unhidden contempt by younger supervisors. Most of all, it's about the slowly dawning dread that the guy who just fell asleep in the layaway bin drooling all over himself and snoring while on the clock is making 50 cents an hour more than you do by busting your hump. The people at management level want you demoralized, because if you're "empowered", you'll start asking why you're not being paid more than $6.25 an hour after three years of running ragged in the name of customer service, and too many raises cut into their end-of-year bonuses.
I have lots of Mart horror stories, both funny and frustrating; lets's just say for now that you're damn lucky if you never had to work there. Of course, my experience was at one store in a chain of thousands, but considering all the lawsuits that have popped up in the past few years regarding the Mart's blatant disregard for some of the country's most basic labor laws, I doubt my expererience is unique.
What it comes down to is that I doubt any Mart woman hot enough to pose in Playboy is going to have enough company loyalty to say "no" when that big "get naked" check is waved in front of their face. Hell, if they do get fired, there's always Target.
(Let's thank Wade for the link; don't blame him for the results, though.)
Walmart is a trailblazer of mediocrity, giving many their first look at the horror that was the Backstreet Boys, so their own Girls Gone Wild pictorial isn't out of the question. Consider for a moment, though, that Wal-Mart is positioning itself as a wholesome family store (ignore for a second the selection of "body massagers" on sale in the center aisle for a moment). They won't even carry Maxim and their suppliers make "special" music CDs without controversial songs or certain pieces of cover work, so there's a good chance that they'll either kill the issue entirely or drop these women like a hot potato as soon as the magazine hits the street. The Mart rep they spoke to mentioned that "this is not a ballpark Wal-mart wants to play in", a threat that shouldn't be taken lightly for people who want to stay employed.
(A rant starts in here somewhere...don't say I didn't warn you...)
The Playboy people say it's about "empowerment", but as ex-Wal-mart, I can tell you that "empowerment" isn't how the hierarchical structure works at the Mart. At some point, it comes down to impotent and futile rage, being lied to on a regular basis by store managers in the name of the bottom line, treated like the disposable component of an impersonal machine that you are, and (if you're over a certain age) being looked upon with undisguised and unhidden contempt by younger supervisors. Most of all, it's about the slowly dawning dread that the guy who just fell asleep in the layaway bin drooling all over himself and snoring while on the clock is making 50 cents an hour more than you do by busting your hump. The people at management level want you demoralized, because if you're "empowered", you'll start asking why you're not being paid more than $6.25 an hour after three years of running ragged in the name of customer service, and too many raises cut into their end-of-year bonuses.
I have lots of Mart horror stories, both funny and frustrating; lets's just say for now that you're damn lucky if you never had to work there. Of course, my experience was at one store in a chain of thousands, but considering all the lawsuits that have popped up in the past few years regarding the Mart's blatant disregard for some of the country's most basic labor laws, I doubt my expererience is unique.
What it comes down to is that I doubt any Mart woman hot enough to pose in Playboy is going to have enough company loyalty to say "no" when that big "get naked" check is waved in front of their face. Hell, if they do get fired, there's always Target.
(Let's thank Wade for the link; don't blame him for the results, though.)
|| Eric 7:45 PM#
Friday, September 12, 2003
CUT THE MULLET (or "I No Longer Want To Live"): In lieu of a proper writeup, a few highlights from when I tricked the chat into watching The Mullets debut on UPN (following the abbreviated Smackdown episode):
KelvinNYC: I hate laugh tracks that laugh when nothing's going on
---
SvenDawg: Why do I have a feeling that Mullets should have a "From the creators of Ready 2 Rumble" hype tag?
---
3zy: OUT-FREAKIN-STANDIN'
Doom: Easy is speaking mulletease now.
3zy: YEW BETTUR WASHYA ASS, WURRRRRRRLD
Ska: This is an embarassment to horrible sitcoms everywhere
---
KelvinNYC: hey Eric, are you doing because you dont' get cable or something?
3zy: I'm doing this as an endurance test, Kel.
3zy: I thought I explained this already. :)
Josh: At least Whoopi Goldberg isn't starring on it
---
3zy: my head is starting to hurt
3zy: awwwwww man
3zy: They're using RAW footage [...]
KelvinNYC: I hate hate hate that this is what america thinks of when they hear wrestling fan
3zy: and they couldn't spring for JR [...]
Josh: They couldn't even spring for EVIL CARLTON~~
3zy: or the guys on Velocity
Ska: Well, I hope you're happy
Ska: I no longer want to live
3zy: Yes
3zy: YES I AM
3zy: Now we're all infected with the same poison
---
Josh: How long do you give this show to live?
Ska: 3 more eps
Josh: Starts the bidding at 6 weeks
3zy: I agree with Ska
3zy: Unless this show is being used as a tax dodge
Josh: I say they ride it out to the bitter end
Ska: Not a f***ing chance
SvenDawg: It's UPN. For them, this is art.
Josh: And it'll be gone in early Nov., never to be spoken of again [...]
Josh: Yeah you gotta remember THAT
SvenDawg: I mean, they've lost Buffy, which leaves 'em with SD!, Enterprise... and... ?
Josh: Any other network, 3 weeks
Josh: But this is UPN
Ska: No other network would have even picked up the pilot
---
And on that, so ends today's lesson... One more thing: Ska did not censor himself; that was my fob to Blogger TOS, either real or imagined...
KelvinNYC: I hate laugh tracks that laugh when nothing's going on
---
SvenDawg: Why do I have a feeling that Mullets should have a "From the creators of Ready 2 Rumble" hype tag?
---
3zy: OUT-FREAKIN-STANDIN'
Doom: Easy is speaking mulletease now.
3zy: YEW BETTUR WASHYA ASS, WURRRRRRRLD
Ska: This is an embarassment to horrible sitcoms everywhere
---
KelvinNYC: hey Eric, are you doing because you dont' get cable or something?
3zy: I'm doing this as an endurance test, Kel.
3zy: I thought I explained this already. :)
Josh: At least Whoopi Goldberg isn't starring on it
---
3zy: my head is starting to hurt
3zy: awwwwww man
3zy: They're using RAW footage [...]
KelvinNYC: I hate hate hate that this is what america thinks of when they hear wrestling fan
3zy: and they couldn't spring for JR [...]
Josh: They couldn't even spring for EVIL CARLTON~~
3zy: or the guys on Velocity
Ska: Well, I hope you're happy
Ska: I no longer want to live
3zy: Yes
3zy: YES I AM
3zy: Now we're all infected with the same poison
---
Josh: How long do you give this show to live?
Ska: 3 more eps
Josh: Starts the bidding at 6 weeks
3zy: I agree with Ska
3zy: Unless this show is being used as a tax dodge
Josh: I say they ride it out to the bitter end
Ska: Not a f***ing chance
SvenDawg: It's UPN. For them, this is art.
Josh: And it'll be gone in early Nov., never to be spoken of again [...]
Josh: Yeah you gotta remember THAT
SvenDawg: I mean, they've lost Buffy, which leaves 'em with SD!, Enterprise... and... ?
Josh: Any other network, 3 weeks
Josh: But this is UPN
Ska: No other network would have even picked up the pilot
---
And on that, so ends today's lesson... One more thing: Ska did not censor himself; that was my fob to Blogger TOS, either real or imagined...
|| Eric 12:27 AM#
Thursday, September 11, 2003
NO TRIBUTE: My commemoration of the events of the day is to not cheapen death by cheating on life. I didn't lose anybody, I've never been to the city, so anything I'd say would be for ego-gratification and no more. So no self-flagellation in the streets, no wearing of the hair shirt, no carrying of unbearable sadness to the grave (for one day). My eyes today are firmly fixed on the present and hopes of the future, and any sadness I might've felt is tempered by the frustration at the breathtakingly boneheaded and underbellied manouvers done in flag and freedom's name since then, up to this very moment.
So my contribution to the anniversary is to not contribute anything to the anniversary. There are thousands who have legitimate grounds for mourning today, and I don't presume to chart the course of other people's hearts, but I personally refuse to go through the motions and make anybody in the the government feel good or justified about what's happened in the world since then.
We pause, then we move on. The hand writes it's line, and off it goes again.
If you're disappointed at all, there's probably tens of thousands of pages of glurge on the subject today written by people who've never even been within a thousand miles of New York, and I'd recommend you go find one of them right now. And as always, I end with a reminder that I speak for the only person for who I have a right to speak.
I will recommend a quick look at this article, while it's fresh on everybody's mind.
(I'll be back to irrelevant chatter for the weekend. Promise.)
So my contribution to the anniversary is to not contribute anything to the anniversary. There are thousands who have legitimate grounds for mourning today, and I don't presume to chart the course of other people's hearts, but I personally refuse to go through the motions and make anybody in the the government feel good or justified about what's happened in the world since then.
We pause, then we move on. The hand writes it's line, and off it goes again.
If you're disappointed at all, there's probably tens of thousands of pages of glurge on the subject today written by people who've never even been within a thousand miles of New York, and I'd recommend you go find one of them right now. And as always, I end with a reminder that I speak for the only person for who I have a right to speak.
I will recommend a quick look at this article, while it's fresh on everybody's mind.
(I'll be back to irrelevant chatter for the weekend. Promise.)
|| Eric 3:39 PM#
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
BAD TOUCH: The music industry gets even closer to having one uberlabel (ein volk, ein musik, etc. etc.) as Warner and BMG run headlong into each other's loving arms. See if you can spot where they tick me off in this article excerpt:
By joining forces in a 50-50 joint venture, Warner Music and BMG hope to counter a global downturn triggered by Internet downloaders and CD-burning and reap cost savings of $250-$300 million between them each year.
Always nice to have a scapegoat for your problems that can't fight back...the fact that most new music sucks and isn't worth $18 a CD doesn't figure into the global downturn (don't get me started on the VMAs again...).
WE GOT THE SPIRIT, YES WE DO. WE GOT THE SPIRIT, HOW 'BOUT YOU?: Booooooooooooooooooo, Elma High School. Boooooooo. How is a young guy who never goes to school sporting events supposed to fantasize about bagging a cheerleader when they're wearing WARM UP PANTS all day? If I remember correctly, that was part of the fun of pep rally days. I mean, come on, throw 'em a frickin' bone here. No pun intended, of course.
By joining forces in a 50-50 joint venture, Warner Music and BMG hope to counter a global downturn triggered by Internet downloaders and CD-burning and reap cost savings of $250-$300 million between them each year.
Always nice to have a scapegoat for your problems that can't fight back...the fact that most new music sucks and isn't worth $18 a CD doesn't figure into the global downturn (don't get me started on the VMAs again...).
WE GOT THE SPIRIT, YES WE DO. WE GOT THE SPIRIT, HOW 'BOUT YOU?: Booooooooooooooooooo, Elma High School. Boooooooo. How is a young guy who never goes to school sporting events supposed to fantasize about bagging a cheerleader when they're wearing WARM UP PANTS all day? If I remember correctly, that was part of the fun of pep rally days. I mean, come on, throw 'em a frickin' bone here. No pun intended, of course.
|| Eric 8:09 PM#
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
TOTALLY WRONG NEWS: By way of taking a quick break from the continuing absurdist drama of the RIAA suing children, let's have a look at a lawsuit we can ALL laugh at. Wham-o is suing Viacom and Adam Sandler's production company over the depiction of an improperly used Slip 'n' Slide in the Dickie Roberts movie. Unless you've been actively hiding from this film, you'll recall the unmitigated joy of watching David Spade trying to use a Slip 'n' Slide without any water, and scarring up his pasty, frail body as a result. Here's a quote:
"Wham-O is concerned about the depicted misuse of its product in the film and its advertising, particularly the potential for injury to children and even adults who, after viewing the scene, might use the product in the same reckless manner," said Peter Sgromo, marketing director of Wham-O's toy division.
Um...do kids really WATCH David Spade movies? And if they do, shouldn't we call child welfare?
Anyway, the Wham-o people go on to say the movie's usage violates all the safety guidelines posted on the package, which might be the whole point of the gag, but I'm only a viewer, so I might be biased in my judgement. Anyway, anybody who intentionally tries to injure themselves for no other reason than it's what they saw in the movie needs pain in their life. The Jackass Syndrome is what I call it; just because you see somebody do it on TV doesn't mean it's something everybody can do, or should do. I'm constantly amazed how many people grow to physical maturity (I hesitate to call it adulthood) with a functioning brain and no idea that some things done in the media are bad for you. I don't know if we really should protect these idiots from themselves, since if they can't sustain their own safety, how the hell can we trust them with anything that'd bring good or harm to other people?
Anyway, the Comedy Central promo special for the Dickie Roberts film they ran last week was a lot of fun, even though (like about 3/4ths of the basic cable movie promo specials) it gives away waaaaaaaay too much of the plot. The Todd Bridges bit in particular was a lot of fun.
"Wham-O is concerned about the depicted misuse of its product in the film and its advertising, particularly the potential for injury to children and even adults who, after viewing the scene, might use the product in the same reckless manner," said Peter Sgromo, marketing director of Wham-O's toy division.
Um...do kids really WATCH David Spade movies? And if they do, shouldn't we call child welfare?
Anyway, the Wham-o people go on to say the movie's usage violates all the safety guidelines posted on the package, which might be the whole point of the gag, but I'm only a viewer, so I might be biased in my judgement. Anyway, anybody who intentionally tries to injure themselves for no other reason than it's what they saw in the movie needs pain in their life. The Jackass Syndrome is what I call it; just because you see somebody do it on TV doesn't mean it's something everybody can do, or should do. I'm constantly amazed how many people grow to physical maturity (I hesitate to call it adulthood) with a functioning brain and no idea that some things done in the media are bad for you. I don't know if we really should protect these idiots from themselves, since if they can't sustain their own safety, how the hell can we trust them with anything that'd bring good or harm to other people?
Anyway, the Comedy Central promo special for the Dickie Roberts film they ran last week was a lot of fun, even though (like about 3/4ths of the basic cable movie promo specials) it gives away waaaaaaaay too much of the plot. The Todd Bridges bit in particular was a lot of fun.
|| Eric 7:41 PM#
Sunday, September 07, 2003
ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE TV ALERTS: Set your VCRs, because tomorrow morning at 8:30am (5:30pmPT) on TCM is one of those milestone things that animeheads did: the first Japanese animated movie ever released in America, Magic Boy. It's definitely one of the most obscure things in the form's history, as it's never recieved a video release (let alone DVD) and in fact, this may be the very first time it's ever appeared on American television. In other words, have a blank tape ready, because this one should be a keeper.
|| Eric 12:54 PM#
Saturday, September 06, 2003
OH, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN: In a sure sign that the 1980s retro movement has gone too far, those rotten little Smurf figurines are back. Prepare for a plague of little blue plastic critters in the lives of you favorite middle-school-or-younger-aged female relatives. Followed by a season where it rains nothing but giant frogs. (/lewisblack)
There have been a lot of fun Smurf parodies over the years, but the one that really stuck with me was a throwaway bit in a GI Joe episode where Cobra took over all the TV satellites, and used them for their own brand of social messages, having to do with acceptance of Cobra's overpowering central leadership and conformity to the new status quo. This being the 1980s, one of the rewired series was a sickly-green version of the Smurfs. If was pretty much a throwaway, but I remember the bit clearly: two green Smurfalikes say to one of another color, "if we all look the same (magic color change here) and ACT the same, EVERYTHING WILL BE O-KAY!" The deed being done, all three identical Smurfalikes frolic off into the woods, hopefully to be tastefully eaten by Azrael offscreen.
If that message sounds vaguely familiar, then you probably know Cobra Commander better in his civilian identity: Rupert Murdoch.
There have been a lot of fun Smurf parodies over the years, but the one that really stuck with me was a throwaway bit in a GI Joe episode where Cobra took over all the TV satellites, and used them for their own brand of social messages, having to do with acceptance of Cobra's overpowering central leadership and conformity to the new status quo. This being the 1980s, one of the rewired series was a sickly-green version of the Smurfs. If was pretty much a throwaway, but I remember the bit clearly: two green Smurfalikes say to one of another color, "if we all look the same (magic color change here) and ACT the same, EVERYTHING WILL BE O-KAY!" The deed being done, all three identical Smurfalikes frolic off into the woods, hopefully to be tastefully eaten by Azrael offscreen.
If that message sounds vaguely familiar, then you probably know Cobra Commander better in his civilian identity: Rupert Murdoch.
|| Eric 12:36 PM#
Thursday, September 04, 2003
FINALLY, SOME COMMON SENSE: While the RIAA continues their full-frontal assault on scared school kids looking for a free J-Lo fix(*), Universal Music Group, the parent company of the labels for artists like U2, Reba McEntyre, and even (heaven help us) ABBA, have decided to do the one sure thing to fight piracy...LOWER THE COST OF RECORDS. They will be eliminating the $18.98 retail price point on CDs, which I've always maintained was a monumentally stupid idea in the first place, and the lion's share of their top-line new releases will come with a MSRP of $12.98. Back catalog albums (that's where ABBA comes into the equation, as well as Nirvana, etc) will also show a price drop as well.
For someone who is frequently in a tiny money situation, this is the best music news all year, and I can only hope this move sparks an industry trend. If I can't get free, I don't mind cheap, and I'd rather pay for a CD where at least some of the money gets back to the artist than pay for the music via an RIAA lawsuit where it's guaranteed NONE of the money gets back to the artist.
(*Footnote: J-Lo was a random selection from the charts, don't read anything into it.)
For someone who is frequently in a tiny money situation, this is the best music news all year, and I can only hope this move sparks an industry trend. If I can't get free, I don't mind cheap, and I'd rather pay for a CD where at least some of the money gets back to the artist than pay for the music via an RIAA lawsuit where it's guaranteed NONE of the money gets back to the artist.
(*Footnote: J-Lo was a random selection from the charts, don't read anything into it.)
|| Eric 1:04 AM#
