Tiny Money Land

FOCUS ON YOUR OWN FAMILY: Once again, MSNBC Countdown presenter Keith Olbermann shows, both on the air and on his web page, why news organizations are better known for telling the truth than people who make the most noise about morality. There's an old carpenter's axiom that comes into play here--"measure twice, cut once." The same goes double for communication, especially when it comes to saying potentially embarrassing things in e-mails to people who can put your words on television (see the Countdown repeat later tonight for details).

The short version of the story-after-the-story is that Focus on the Family was informed that Countdown was doing a story about the Spongebob "We Are Family" flap, with an invitation to present a statement. Instead, their response came after the piece aired in the form of a groan-inducing "attack the messenger, ignore the message" hypocrisy that a number of people who would presume to speak for the nation's morality have chosen instead of clarifying the underlying truth of what they've actually said. The Focus on the Family faithful were encouraged to flood the e-mails of the news broadcasters (the individuals, not the organizations) who got the most mileage out of the story, and e-mail they did. Some were apparently more lucid than others; by Olbermann's count, 10-20% were so eager to get to the point that they sent him blank messages. Out of the ones that actually typed something, my favorite warned Keith to "remember what we did to Tom Brokaw at ABC (sic)".

Meanwhile, James Dobson has issued an after-the-fact clarification, but on the electronic media tip has accepted only one of the hundreds of requests for interviews; not surprisingly it was on Fox News with Hannity and Colmes, a pair of commentators least likely to actually go nose-to-nose with him. It would've been nice if he had done something like this at the outset to defuse the brouhaha, but he's probably enjoying himself more by doing it the way he did. Anyway, it's so much more self-gratifying to paint yourself as a martyr instead of taking the steps to be sure you're understood.

Note to Dr. Dobson: If you don't really want to be part of a public debate, be careful about bringing up debate points in public. If, on the other hand, you just want somebody to say "yes, sir" every time you open your mouth, you should've become a drill sergeant when you had the chance. Oh yes, I don't have a degree in divinity, but I seem to remember that God really hates it when you lie, even if you're doing it in the course of calling other people on perceived lies. If you've followed the above links, you might be able to figure out what I'm talking about.

(Footnote: Profuse apologies to the drill sergeant for any offense from the above career advice, or tying your storied profession in with this story. It was just the first thing that popped into my head.)
 

GENUINE IMITATION LIFE: The Genuine Imitation Life Gazette, the Four Seasons' 1969 contribution to the era's concept album sweepstakes, has lurked at the back of my consciousness for a few years, since I saw the LP in the used bin at the Record Exchange. Being born after their hot streak, songs like "Dawn" and "Rag Doll" were part of the background noise growing up, so of course when I saw the name of the group attached to a song called "American Crucixion and Resurrection", I had a feeling I'd be coming back to it eventually. A few weeks ago, I found a Rhino CD reissue (which seems to be hopelessly out of print), complete with a rough approximation of the original fake newspaper liner notes, I just had to bite.

This was still the same group fronted by Frankie Valli, but the music took more chances and the lyrics were making a bid for relevance. In some places, this works very well (the divorce ballad of "Saturday's Father" is very effective), while others don't hang together quite as well. In a few songs, you can definitely hear the gears shifting constantly in an attempt at the Brian Wilson "teenage symphony" approach, or maybe it's closer to what Love pulled off on Forever Changes. While it hangs together much better than it shoud, it was really jarring when the music in "American Crucifixion" shifted into shuffle-footed Dixieland to represent the "establishment" world ("Hey boy, you're supposed to call me Mister..."). It may have seemed clever then, but 30 years down the line it sounds a bit awkward.

(Footnote: Of course, the culture's changed quite a bit, and the dividing line among young rebels isn't rock/non-rock so much as what kind of rock or pop you listen to or play. It can be very frustrating defining yourself as apart from the boomers when they've claimed so much territory for themselves. People used to wear t-shirts and ragged blue jeans as a badge of individuality, even dissent, but in an age when your mom and dad dress like that, what kind of half-assed signifier is it?)

In spite of some of the more cringeworthy moments (maybe it's not just me, since apparently the LP was released to a round of derision, or at best indifference), there's some worthwhile music inside. The best songs have the propulsive kick we've come to associate with the best pop of the era. So yeah, it's a suggested purchase if you can find the CD close to the last known list price. It's likely you'll have better luck tracking a vinyl copy at a reasonable price, which would give you the original, unaltered cover art to boot. Whether buying it as a second-hand CD is worth $40 is your call, but I think we can all agree that $100 is ridiculous by any measure.


 

AS SUITABLE A TRIBUTE AS ANY: In memory of Johnny Carson, who we lost earlier today, here's a bit he did on the Tonight Show in 1991 called "What Democracy Means To Me."

"Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead. And, unlike communism, democracy does not mean having just one ineffective political party; it means having two ineffective political parties. ... Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto -- usually a mop or a leaf blower. It means that with proper timing and scrupulous bookkeeping, anyone can die owing the government a huge amount of money. ... Democracy means free television, not good television, but free. ... And finally, democracy is the eagle on the back of a dollar bill, with 13 arrows in one claw, 13 leaves on a branch, 13 tail feathers, and 13 stars over its head -- this signifies that when the white man came to this country, it was bad luck for the Indians, bad luck for the trees, bad luck for the wildlife, and lights out for the American eagle. I thank you."  

GOOD GRIEF: Pop Culture Shock, a semi-blog for comics fandom, presents the most unlikely Avengers: Disassembled crossover of them all. Well, if Wolverine is part of the new group, why not a World War One flying ace?
 

BRAD AND JEN: I wasn't going to talk about the whole Brad and Jen thing, but then I realized that it hurts the kids the worst, the youngest ones who saw the love on VH1's Fabulous Life (or something) and can't understand. Really, in any divorce, it's the kids who hurt, and since they're celebrities, they have a lot of kids who follow their every move. So pull your confused, star-gazing young'uns around the monitor, and I'll explain it as best as I can.

(puts on a cosy sweater, starts up the comforting music)

Now, kids, I want you all to sit still and pay attention...You've probably already heard that Brad and Jennifer are splitting up. Sometimes people who love each other can't live with each other anymore. I just want you to know that it's the type of thing that happens every day. The only difference is that this time, it made the papers.

Sometimes, when the man wants to start a family, the woman doesn't. It doesn't mean she doesn't love babies...maybe she'd rather adopt, I don't know. Or maybe her favorite nanny got deported.

And sometimes, the man makes phone sex calls to Angelina Jolie, and the lady gets very, very mad when she listens in on the other extension. Especially if she's read that Angelina likes to sleep with her friends, or if she was creeped out by how "close" she is with her brother. But again, that's a perfectly normal reaction, and it doesn't make anybody a bad person, just weak. Well, depending on how you define "bad". And if you're really into spankings.

*sniff*

What? No, sweetie, daddy's not crying. Yes, I guess cheating on your wife IS bad. No, I don't know where the spanking thing came from, either.

Anyway, sometimes it's none of those reasons at all, but usually you have to go through their publicists to get a proper answer.

But I want you to know something, kids: it's not your fault. It just happens sometimes between grown-ups, and it doesn't mean that Brad and Jen will stop loving any of you any more than they already do. They'll just do it from different houses now. Maybe different phone lines. But really, it's nobody's fault. Well, it might be US Magazine's fault, but we're here to heal, not to hurt.

TODAY'S PLUG: Here's a guy who puts way too much thought into newspaper comic strips, and we are all much richer for the effort.
 

JUST FINISHED: The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett. Although I'm not much of a fantasy lit wonk, word got back to me about the Discworld series, so here I am at the tail end of the first book This was the first book in a series that now takes up lots of shelf space at Barnes and Noble (and they were missing a few), so I figured it might be worth a shot.

The entire series is a send-up of various fantasy genres and the various cliches that have piled up at the base. Discworld itself is flat as a pancake, balanced on four elephants, who stand on the back of a giant turtle. There are wizards, warriors, trolls, and all those other types, but they don't necessarily act like they do in the other books.

Because of an annoying anal streak that surfaces in me at times, I started with the first book in the series. Magic is more of an episodic book, with four novella-length chapters concerning the wizard Rincewind, who flunked out of the Unseen University and has to get by on his wits (such as they are), and Twoflower, a tourist who never seems to realize what type of fierce danger he's in at any given moment. Although it has its own charming features, the Disc isn't a hospitable place for people who just want to look around, and Death himself has a funny habit of showing up to tell Rincewind they need to hit the road. Yes, this is a funny book, although I couldn't help but get the feeling that I'd get more of the jokes if I was hip-deep in fantasy arcana. There's not much I can do about that at this point.

The Discworld series has built up quite a following--four dedicated conventions already--so I might end up dipping my toe in a few others. Several websites tell me Pratchett was just getting warmed up with the first few books, and if they say it on the Internet, it must be so. *snicker*
 

COMMITTED: Made it through the pilot episode of the self-consciously wacky new NBC sitcom Committed (Tuesday 9:30 E/P), and hoo-boy... Since they lost the remainder of their marquee comedies last spring, NBC is in heavy duty rebuilding phase this season (too many "reality" shows, not enough follow-up firepower from Matt LeBlanc). Committed, as the first of the midseason replacements, is part of the second wave.

Nate (Josh Cook, in his first recurring TV role) is a record store clerk who comes from a long line of geniuses that have all eventually gone insane, and he's already developed a few nasty personality tics, such as being an obsessive planner with an office cluttered with yellow legal pads. Marni (Jennifer Finnigan, the most recent victim of an apparent Crossing Jordan policy to kill off a supporting character each season...go figure) is an occupational therapist that's all sunshine. When a blind date crossup throws them together, ZANY HIJINKS ENSUE.

Yeah, in spite of the looney filigree (you had to know going in that the title was a double-edged sword), it's another godawful romantic comedy at the foundation level, and like any series of that ilk, the love story isn't going to have much of a shelf life. The two leads are appealing, but the characters are a bit on the bland side. Maybe I was spoiled by Lunatics: A Love Story, a movie which took the "crazy lovers" angle and wasn't scared to make them properly insane instead of just eccentric. As it is, they're stock sitcom young people with a quirk graft that won't take. It says something about the show that Tom Poston, as a "dying clown" who sublets Marni's closet (don't ask), gets bigger laughs than the two leads just by walking across the room. However, this might be a show where the supporting cast, not having to carry the too-familiar boy-meets-girl plotline, takes the ball and runs with it. Apart from the dying clown, we also met Todd (RonReaco Lee), a passive-aggressive (heavy on the aggressive) wheelchair-bound friend of Marni's, who makes a glorious show leaving a restaurant and knocking into everybody there when it's made clear to him that Nate didn't want a third wheel on the second date. Since Todd features heavily in the show promos, the network might have had the same idea I did.

I've read from expert witnesses that upcoming episodes get better, which only makes sense, since the first show in any run isn't the best gauge for a series. Still, I get the feeling that Nate and Marni might end up being third-wheel characters in their own show, and that might be for the best. That is, if it lasts that long.

(Edit: The second episode came on earlier tonight, leaning heavily on the Todd-hates-Nate angle, and worked much better. Still, I think we have a show whose days are numbered. )
 

LE SHAT: Today's recommendation is Has Been by William Shatner. You might remember one of my many slogans for this bloggy exercise in ego-gratification was "Whatever you were expecting, this probably isn't it." That phrase applies in spades to William Shatner's album Has-Been, which I finally caught up with over the weekend.

The reviews I've been able to dig up are split between the snarky types who wonder if they're missing the joke and those who, going in with one set of expectations, were blown away by what they found. I tend to lean a bit towards the latter camp, going in expecting nothing since I was only vaguely familiar with his previous Ben Folds collaboration on the Fear of Pop album. Like a lot of people, I'm more familiar with the legendarily awful The Transformed Man, which resonates with both students of pop culture and far too many people who are too cool to care deeply about anything. The latter group that will be the most confused by Has Been, and that's just too bad. This time we get a Shatner who is fully aware of how he looks to the world, knows your expectations and, thanks to the custom-tailored original material, turns them around on you. This time, he means it.

There are a fair share of chuckle-inducing moments. I especially liked the judgement day jollies of "You'll Have Time" (with a gospel chorus singing "You're gonna die!"), when he tells his lady in "Ideal Woman" that "I want you to be you," then in the same breath saying "Spit out the gum, it doesn't work," and going toe-to-toe with Henry Rollins on "I Can't Get Behind That" ("THE COLONEL IS BREAKDANCING! GIVE ME A BREAK!") . Mixed in with the "fun" material, however, are some emotionally packed pieces, not the least of which is "What Have You Done", a bare recitation without music about his wife's drowning death, and "That's Me Trying", a melancholy story about a deadbeat dad trying to reconnect with his adult daughter.

The question lingers, though: Would so many jaws be dropping if this was anybody but William Shatner? Would anybody bat an eye if it was Brent Spiner or George Takei? Well, probably not, but one of the functions of art is to take what you know, or think you know, and help you see it in a new context, and in that aspect, Has Been is an unqualified success.