Friday, December 10, 2004
AND IN OTHER NEWS: The Center for Disease Control has detected toxic levels of self-importance in the so-called "Internet wrestling community", and has issued a statement warning non-infected individuals that "you really, REALLY don't want to go there."
Symptoms include writing website columns which include the phrase "Vince McMahon, I KNOW you're reading this," the usage of an acronym (IWC) in every paragraph, and in extreme cases, book deals.
For those who believe they've been infected, officials at the CDC recommend a regimen of going outside, meeting real people, or (failing all else) hardcore pornography.
Remember, I'm doing this because I love each and every one of you.
If you followed the "self-importance" link (and let's face it, since it's coming from me, why would you?), you'd find a lot of Inside Pulse readers and contributors writing about why the wrestling fanbase on the Internet is stagnant at best, falling apart in the worst case scenario. My theory is that the writing was on the wall when they started referring to themselves as (urgh) the "IWC", like fandom is something worthy of putting up on CNBC's stock exchange ticker. Also, if you take the time to read these posts, everybody is either a columnist or writing like they're auditioning for a slot. While I won't deny there's some appeal in a well-thought-out post, a full-length essay on a message board is something else again. Could it be that they've lost their way because at some point it stopped being a conversation and started being about waiting for the other person to stop talking so they can prove how clever they are?
Yeah, they're not all that bad, but the squeaky wheel always gets the grease.
One of the biggest headscratchers I've found so far would be the guy who says the current situation with the columnists' downtime is similar to the biggest WWE-based stars going off and making movies. Analogies are fine, but please take this away with you if you leave with nothing else: Writing about pro wrestling and being a pro wrestler aren't the same thing. A guy who blows off his deadline one week on a news-and-views column he writes for free because his manager wanted him to work double shifts on the cash register isn't the same situation as the Rock taking long sabbaticals away from the ring to make big-budget Hollywood movies. If you can't (or won't) make it pay, what you're doing is technically a hobby (hey, like what I'm doing here!), and you only have as much obligation to it as your personal interest mandates. You aren't in "the business" just because you have a buddy that feeds you headlines from the dead-tree version of the Torch, and no amount of wishing will make it so. If that's the way your thinking runs, you DO need downtime just to ground yourself in reality.
If it's getting too hard to content yourself with the small pleasures where you find them until the next anticipated upswing, I suggest we all do what J.R. "Bob" Dobbs recommends for the endtimes and have some hellfire jollies at the prospect of the end of the road. Then we can all move our interests to things that never go in cycles, like good books, snow cones or (yes, here it is again) porn. Anything would be better than what I've been doing during most of the recent WWE TV shows, which is catching up with my sleep.
(Oh yeah, for the person who asked for no flaming after somebody ragged out Chris Hyatte, you should be aware you're denying Hyatte one of his four food groups by doing that. Suggestions for the other three can be left in the comment box, as always. )
Symptoms include writing website columns which include the phrase "Vince McMahon, I KNOW you're reading this," the usage of an acronym (IWC) in every paragraph, and in extreme cases, book deals.
For those who believe they've been infected, officials at the CDC recommend a regimen of going outside, meeting real people, or (failing all else) hardcore pornography.
Remember, I'm doing this because I love each and every one of you.
If you followed the "self-importance" link (and let's face it, since it's coming from me, why would you?), you'd find a lot of Inside Pulse readers and contributors writing about why the wrestling fanbase on the Internet is stagnant at best, falling apart in the worst case scenario. My theory is that the writing was on the wall when they started referring to themselves as (urgh) the "IWC", like fandom is something worthy of putting up on CNBC's stock exchange ticker. Also, if you take the time to read these posts, everybody is either a columnist or writing like they're auditioning for a slot. While I won't deny there's some appeal in a well-thought-out post, a full-length essay on a message board is something else again. Could it be that they've lost their way because at some point it stopped being a conversation and started being about waiting for the other person to stop talking so they can prove how clever they are?
Yeah, they're not all that bad, but the squeaky wheel always gets the grease.
One of the biggest headscratchers I've found so far would be the guy who says the current situation with the columnists' downtime is similar to the biggest WWE-based stars going off and making movies. Analogies are fine, but please take this away with you if you leave with nothing else: Writing about pro wrestling and being a pro wrestler aren't the same thing. A guy who blows off his deadline one week on a news-and-views column he writes for free because his manager wanted him to work double shifts on the cash register isn't the same situation as the Rock taking long sabbaticals away from the ring to make big-budget Hollywood movies. If you can't (or won't) make it pay, what you're doing is technically a hobby (hey, like what I'm doing here!), and you only have as much obligation to it as your personal interest mandates. You aren't in "the business" just because you have a buddy that feeds you headlines from the dead-tree version of the Torch, and no amount of wishing will make it so. If that's the way your thinking runs, you DO need downtime just to ground yourself in reality.
If it's getting too hard to content yourself with the small pleasures where you find them until the next anticipated upswing, I suggest we all do what J.R. "Bob" Dobbs recommends for the endtimes and have some hellfire jollies at the prospect of the end of the road. Then we can all move our interests to things that never go in cycles, like good books, snow cones or (yes, here it is again) porn. Anything would be better than what I've been doing during most of the recent WWE TV shows, which is catching up with my sleep.
(Oh yeah, for the person who asked for no flaming after somebody ragged out Chris Hyatte, you should be aware you're denying Hyatte one of his four food groups by doing that. Suggestions for the other three can be left in the comment box, as always. )
|| Eric 12:12 PM#
