Saturday, June 26, 2004
THE INTERNET'S GOING TO HELL...AGAIN!: Between the AOL employee who sold 92 million screen names to an online gambling interest and the trojan that's sneaking into hard drives through a breathtaking number of Microsoft-related security holes, this isn't a good time to be a Windows user on the Internet. Being a borderline paranoiac, I'm using the Linux flavor of Mozilla Firebird today...and maybe tomorrow. Possibly next week, too.
Microsoft has a few suggestions to help prevent the mess, and not surprisingly, the solution which has the best chance of working--not using Internet Explorer for the duration--isn't included. Other suggestions are a bit misguided, all things considered. I recommend unplugging your hard drive and boiling it in salt water. A large convection oven is a worthy alternative. After it dries, a good scrubbing is in order; Brillo and oil soap is something to keep in mind.
Since carrier current technologies are now being considered for data transmissions, cut the power lines at the pole (no need to worry about a virus "jumping the gap"). After that, you can truly consider yourself safe, sitting in the dark with your abacus, a supply of canned foods, and the fully-stocked armory you laid in for the Y2K apocalypse that never came. This time, it's for real--Microsoft wouldn't panic us for no reason (SNORT)--and don't believe otherwise until Rob Rosenberger calls you down from the bell tower.
(EDIT @ 7:36pm: I now find out that the main threat has been neutered. However, some of the sites are still trying to infect the unsuspecting user, so I still recommend taking your data line and cutting it into tiny pieces. Once you've done that, IM me and tell me how it went.)
Microsoft has a few suggestions to help prevent the mess, and not surprisingly, the solution which has the best chance of working--not using Internet Explorer for the duration--isn't included. Other suggestions are a bit misguided, all things considered. I recommend unplugging your hard drive and boiling it in salt water. A large convection oven is a worthy alternative. After it dries, a good scrubbing is in order; Brillo and oil soap is something to keep in mind.
Since carrier current technologies are now being considered for data transmissions, cut the power lines at the pole (no need to worry about a virus "jumping the gap"). After that, you can truly consider yourself safe, sitting in the dark with your abacus, a supply of canned foods, and the fully-stocked armory you laid in for the Y2K apocalypse that never came. This time, it's for real--Microsoft wouldn't panic us for no reason (SNORT)--and don't believe otherwise until Rob Rosenberger calls you down from the bell tower.
(EDIT @ 7:36pm: I now find out that the main threat has been neutered. However, some of the sites are still trying to infect the unsuspecting user, so I still recommend taking your data line and cutting it into tiny pieces. Once you've done that, IM me and tell me how it went.)
|| Eric 1:37 PM#
Saturday, June 19, 2004
OKAY, LIT FREAKS: I bought a copy of James Joyce's Ulysses today. I may make it my summer project...note that I didn't say summer reading, which implies something light and fluffy. A summer project is like building a deck or a guest room. If you've ever invested a day reading a few pages of Joyce, you know what I'm setting myself up for. Say a prayer for me.
|| Eric 9:41 PM#
Thursday, June 17, 2004
ESTHER...!: Shades of Prince/Symbol and Jim/Roger McGuinn: Madonna wants to be called Esther now. Of course, Kabbalah Fan #1 is thinking of the Jewish matriarch, but if she names her next album Watch It, Sucka, I swear I'm going to fall out...
|| Eric 10:10 PM#
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
BLOG NATION APOCALYPSE: It looks like one of the earliest providers of free blog space has suddenly pulled the plug, leaving 3,000 people high and dry. While I have to wonder why the guy (yeah, it was a single guy, not a company) didn't give any advance warning whatsoever, I can understand that, when you're doing something for other people on your own dime, you have to do what you have to do. Oh yeah, and it's yet another reminder that nothing you do online is guaranteed to be there tomorrow, so if you want to keep something, back it up. Often.
A small number of the shriller blog people have compared the closing of the service to the World Trade Center tragedy ("this is bloggerdom's 9/11"), and those words fall dead as soon as they reach my eyes, as does my respect for anybody who says something like that. I'm not linking to those comments here, and that's the only justification you're getting. Call it the burning of the original Library of Alexandria, if you need to pile on the hyperbole, but not an international tragedy that fresh. I know they're in an advanced state of hysteria, but all they lost were some words. If it came to a choice between wiping Tiny Money Land and thousands of lives on the line, it's an easy choice to make. Blogs aren't a life-or-death thing, and if this one vanished suddenly, it'd just be another thing to deal with in a day.
Of course, if I posted to mine a dozen times a day like some people do, my tone would be different, I'm sure.
A small number of the shriller blog people have compared the closing of the service to the World Trade Center tragedy ("this is bloggerdom's 9/11"), and those words fall dead as soon as they reach my eyes, as does my respect for anybody who says something like that. I'm not linking to those comments here, and that's the only justification you're getting. Call it the burning of the original Library of Alexandria, if you need to pile on the hyperbole, but not an international tragedy that fresh. I know they're in an advanced state of hysteria, but all they lost were some words. If it came to a choice between wiping Tiny Money Land and thousands of lives on the line, it's an easy choice to make. Blogs aren't a life-or-death thing, and if this one vanished suddenly, it'd just be another thing to deal with in a day.
Of course, if I posted to mine a dozen times a day like some people do, my tone would be different, I'm sure.
|| Eric 1:01 PM#
Saturday, June 12, 2004
I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH!...THE MOVIE: Plans are underway to make a feature film out of Rick James' upcoming autobiography, Memoirs of a Super Freak, and the Hollywod Reporter tells us that Dave Chapelle is in the running for the lead. I guess cocaine really is a hell of a drug. Anyway, couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Well, for Hollywood purposes it couldn't...
|| Eric 12:40 AM#
Friday, June 11, 2004
JUST FINISHED: Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. A few people who have a feel for my online presence have said I should read something by David Sedaris, so when I found a second-hand copy a few weeks ago, I decided to roll with it.
I knew going into this volume that David Sedaris was the brother of Amy, lead of the late and lamented Strangers With Candy, and that he frequently contributes to public radio's This American Life, one of the best shows currently running in any medium. Nobody bothered to tell me that Sedaris was raised in North Carolina (although Raleigh is developed to the point that it doesn't feel entirely NC, like my neck of the red), which was only one of the pleasant surprises I got from the book.
The book is divided into two parts, the first being mostly reminiscences of his childhood and early adulthood, and there's a lot to recognize here. As a former art major, I can appreciate his flirtation with performance art, if not the substance abuse that led to it: "I just heated up a skillet of plastic soldiers, poured a milkshake over my head, and called it a night." The second part of the book is concerned with Sedaris' relocation to France, his struggles with learning the language, and experiences as an American abroad. In spite of what he says about himself, Sedaris is a bright, observant guy who knows how to spin the raw materials of his life into excruciatingly funny pieces which read at a brisk pace.
Like they used to say on the radio, "You'll laugh, you'll weep, you'll fall asleep." Sedaris will get my tiny money again.
I knew going into this volume that David Sedaris was the brother of Amy, lead of the late and lamented Strangers With Candy, and that he frequently contributes to public radio's This American Life, one of the best shows currently running in any medium. Nobody bothered to tell me that Sedaris was raised in North Carolina (although Raleigh is developed to the point that it doesn't feel entirely NC, like my neck of the red), which was only one of the pleasant surprises I got from the book.
The book is divided into two parts, the first being mostly reminiscences of his childhood and early adulthood, and there's a lot to recognize here. As a former art major, I can appreciate his flirtation with performance art, if not the substance abuse that led to it: "I just heated up a skillet of plastic soldiers, poured a milkshake over my head, and called it a night." The second part of the book is concerned with Sedaris' relocation to France, his struggles with learning the language, and experiences as an American abroad. In spite of what he says about himself, Sedaris is a bright, observant guy who knows how to spin the raw materials of his life into excruciatingly funny pieces which read at a brisk pace.
Like they used to say on the radio, "You'll laugh, you'll weep, you'll fall asleep." Sedaris will get my tiny money again.
|| Eric 12:20 AM#
Thursday, June 10, 2004
I WAS JOBBED, MAN: Reading about other people's crappy summer jobs reminded me of my first summer job doing a telemarketing gig for one of the local newspapers. It was 1987, so we were hand dialing numbers off a printout, and at least once I was cussed out by a guy for calling and again for losing my place and calling him back immediately after. It wasn't the greatest gig in the world, but it was enough money for my first CD player.
The most memorable call of that entire period was an old guy who said he'd never consider taking the paper because forty years ago he applied for a carrier job and they passed him over for "some old punk". I listened to the whole thing, at the time being under the influence of Dale Carnegie's advice on winning friends and influencing people. The best way to defuse a temper is to listen sympathetically, Carnegie said, so I always let people talk much longer than the job required on the off chance that they'd just get the poison out of their system and buy a subscription anyway. Of course, this guy was having none of it (none of them did); the more he talked, the madder he got until he slammed the phone down. It's a shame, too, because I was about to mention that routes were open if he wanted to try his luck again.
The most memorable call of that entire period was an old guy who said he'd never consider taking the paper because forty years ago he applied for a carrier job and they passed him over for "some old punk". I listened to the whole thing, at the time being under the influence of Dale Carnegie's advice on winning friends and influencing people. The best way to defuse a temper is to listen sympathetically, Carnegie said, so I always let people talk much longer than the job required on the off chance that they'd just get the poison out of their system and buy a subscription anyway. Of course, this guy was having none of it (none of them did); the more he talked, the madder he got until he slammed the phone down. It's a shame, too, because I was about to mention that routes were open if he wanted to try his luck again.
|| Eric 12:14 PM#
Saturday, June 05, 2004
A YEAR WASTED...WITH ME! (OR "I HATE CLIP SHOWS"): Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of me joining the vast army of self-absorbed net goobers, and when a milestone like this comes around, you know what that means. FLASHBACKS!
JUNE 7, 2003: Making the case for BETAMAX!
JUNE 26/ 27: Spike TV gets into trouble before it begins.
JULY 12: An epic about the first American Idol voting "scandal".
AUGUST 14: PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!
AUGUST 29: "Oh yeah, you'll be hearing a lot about Madonna and Britney Spears kissing, so let me help you put that out of your mind...it was a peck on the lips. There's more sexual tension in the hug your grandma gives you at Christmas than what the Skank Trio did tonight."
SEPTEMBER 12: The Infamous Mullets Chat, or "Business Up Front, Psychosis In The Back".
SEPTEMBER 15: The Playboy "Women of Walmart" issue sets off bitter memories...and not about women.
OCTOBER 23: Boner pills. I shall say no more.
OCTOBER 30: Mind over matter, baby...
NOVEMBER 19: I'll bet all you got out of this web test was a graphic...
DECEMBER 3: Stupid kids' nonsense prepare us for stupid adult nonsense. It's TRUE!
DECEMBER 23: My favorite book review of them all...
JANUARY 5: I hate commercials...AGAIN!
FEBRUARY...ALL OF IT!: My biggest month so far on the hit counter. Thank you, Janet Jackson's tits!
APRIL 2: The Howard Stern thing...
APRIL 8: Eric, meet The Swan...ass, meet The Sling.
And the rest of it is as fresh as last month's seafood, so I'll spare you. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME. What did you get me?
JUNE 7, 2003: Making the case for BETAMAX!
JUNE 26/ 27: Spike TV gets into trouble before it begins.
JULY 12: An epic about the first American Idol voting "scandal".
AUGUST 14: PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!
AUGUST 29: "Oh yeah, you'll be hearing a lot about Madonna and Britney Spears kissing, so let me help you put that out of your mind...it was a peck on the lips. There's more sexual tension in the hug your grandma gives you at Christmas than what the Skank Trio did tonight."
SEPTEMBER 12: The Infamous Mullets Chat, or "Business Up Front, Psychosis In The Back".
SEPTEMBER 15: The Playboy "Women of Walmart" issue sets off bitter memories...and not about women.
OCTOBER 23: Boner pills. I shall say no more.
OCTOBER 30: Mind over matter, baby...
NOVEMBER 19: I'll bet all you got out of this web test was a graphic...
DECEMBER 3: Stupid kids' nonsense prepare us for stupid adult nonsense. It's TRUE!
DECEMBER 23: My favorite book review of them all...
JANUARY 5: I hate commercials...AGAIN!
FEBRUARY...ALL OF IT!: My biggest month so far on the hit counter. Thank you, Janet Jackson's tits!
APRIL 2: The Howard Stern thing...
APRIL 8: Eric, meet The Swan...ass, meet The Sling.
And the rest of it is as fresh as last month's seafood, so I'll spare you. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME. What did you get me?
|| Eric 11:51 AM#
