Saturday, May 29, 2004
ANOTHER SIGN OF MENTAL DISTURBANCE?: I was buying my mom a birthday card at a local drug store; some guy was running the checkout, For once, I had exact change, so in a moment I was gone.
Just a few minutes ago, I look at the receipt, and it says, in part, "YOUR CASHIER TODAY IS PATRICIA." I don't know if it was the 5 o'clock shadow, the deep voice, or the prominent Adam's apple, but he didn't really strike me as a Patricia. Maybe it was one of those "boy named Sue" situations, that he had a terminally absent dad that wanted him to be tough in bad situations, but he could collapse Patricia into Pat, which any longtime SNL watcher could tell you is an intensely unisex handle.
OR...maybe "Pat" is really a girl with something extra. Taking the recommended hormone treatments, she's getting ready to make the long drive back home, to spring her "surprise" on her perpetually in-the-dark parents. She hasn't been home in a long time, because of the treatments. The car is loaded to make the trip back for Memorial Day weekend, where there will be much screaming and fighting when she reveals a he. Tears will be shed. Dishes will be thrown. The big hiccup in that theory is that we're not in a town where that can be done without a bit of fuss. That's a damn shame, because this is the type of story the small press lit magazines eat up with a spoon.
OR...maybe it's a guy at the end of his shift that just used a co-worker's login code because he wanted to get his ass out in a hurry. Nah, couldn't be; that theory's no fun at all.
I don't know if that was the more unsettling bit or that the NC sales tax went up to 7% without my noticing it. It's only a temporary hike, I'm sure, just like the last one a few years back (that never went away), just until the current budget crisis is over (we should live so long). Either that, or until the Carolinas merge into one mega-suth'n-state. Take your pick.
AND ANOTHER THING: The Super Walmart is now selling mini doughnuts with watermelon flavored frosting now. They wanted to go for red, white, and blue frosting in different packages, and the only flavor they could come up with for red is watermelon?
They were sitting right next to a dozen full size for only a dollar more, so of course I went for the regular size. Take that, Atkins boy.
Just a few minutes ago, I look at the receipt, and it says, in part, "YOUR CASHIER TODAY IS PATRICIA." I don't know if it was the 5 o'clock shadow, the deep voice, or the prominent Adam's apple, but he didn't really strike me as a Patricia. Maybe it was one of those "boy named Sue" situations, that he had a terminally absent dad that wanted him to be tough in bad situations, but he could collapse Patricia into Pat, which any longtime SNL watcher could tell you is an intensely unisex handle.
OR...maybe "Pat" is really a girl with something extra. Taking the recommended hormone treatments, she's getting ready to make the long drive back home, to spring her "surprise" on her perpetually in-the-dark parents. She hasn't been home in a long time, because of the treatments. The car is loaded to make the trip back for Memorial Day weekend, where there will be much screaming and fighting when she reveals a he. Tears will be shed. Dishes will be thrown. The big hiccup in that theory is that we're not in a town where that can be done without a bit of fuss. That's a damn shame, because this is the type of story the small press lit magazines eat up with a spoon.
OR...maybe it's a guy at the end of his shift that just used a co-worker's login code because he wanted to get his ass out in a hurry. Nah, couldn't be; that theory's no fun at all.
I don't know if that was the more unsettling bit or that the NC sales tax went up to 7% without my noticing it. It's only a temporary hike, I'm sure, just like the last one a few years back (that never went away), just until the current budget crisis is over (we should live so long). Either that, or until the Carolinas merge into one mega-suth'n-state. Take your pick.
AND ANOTHER THING: The Super Walmart is now selling mini doughnuts with watermelon flavored frosting now. They wanted to go for red, white, and blue frosting in different packages, and the only flavor they could come up with for red is watermelon?
They were sitting right next to a dozen full size for only a dollar more, so of course I went for the regular size. Take that, Atkins boy.
|| Eric 1:38 AM#
