Wednesday, February 11, 2004
GRUMPY (AND BORED) OLD MAN: It's the dumbing down of the nation, I tell ya. First they rounded off the corners of the Doritos. Then they replaced the metal lids and sharp rims on the Planters' cans with foil lids and safety rims. And now, we've finally hit the bottom: Campbell's Soup cans now have pull-tab lids. No more can openers...EVER.
In MY day, you had to learn how to work the can opener in the kitchen drawer to eat your lunchtime soup. The first time you did it as a kid, you lined the opener up badly and it bit into the wrong part of the can. Because you were always taught to handle flat, round things by the edges, the jagged edges of the discarded part dug into your tiny fingers. That's when you found out that without the thick rim, the can was a bit too flexible in overeager hands; you got so nervous that soup was soon flying everywhere but the bowl. Since you opened the can in the wrong way, the next step was you checking for metal filings, never a good thing to digest. Then, and ONLY then, did you feel safe enough to search for the crackers. These things made lunchtime a disaster and an adventure. That's the way it was, and we LIKED IT!
Okay, maybe that was all just me. Of couse, you probably had better motor skills than I did. Of course, you had one of those rotten families who had an electric can opener. Of course, you're mocking my awkward childhood ways. Of course, I want to kick you ass.
Next thing you know, they'll start leaving the water in, and the cans will be twice the size. That won't be right at ALL!
In MY day, you had to learn how to work the can opener in the kitchen drawer to eat your lunchtime soup. The first time you did it as a kid, you lined the opener up badly and it bit into the wrong part of the can. Because you were always taught to handle flat, round things by the edges, the jagged edges of the discarded part dug into your tiny fingers. That's when you found out that without the thick rim, the can was a bit too flexible in overeager hands; you got so nervous that soup was soon flying everywhere but the bowl. Since you opened the can in the wrong way, the next step was you checking for metal filings, never a good thing to digest. Then, and ONLY then, did you feel safe enough to search for the crackers. These things made lunchtime a disaster and an adventure. That's the way it was, and we LIKED IT!
Okay, maybe that was all just me. Of couse, you probably had better motor skills than I did. Of course, you had one of those rotten families who had an electric can opener. Of course, you're mocking my awkward childhood ways. Of course, I want to kick you ass.
Next thing you know, they'll start leaving the water in, and the cans will be twice the size. That won't be right at ALL!
|| Eric 4:09 PM#
