Friday, October 24, 2003
I SHOULD'VE SAVED THAT LAST HEADING for this story, which somehow I completely missed when it was originally posted. Six British schoolboys took a Viagra on a dare during their lunch break, and by the time the afternoon lessons began, "there was no hiding what they had done," according to a statement issued by the local education authority.
Apparently it never occurred to them that if you take a boner pill, you're gonna get a boner. That's a logical gap usually connected with American school children, so it's very reassuring (or frightening, take your pick) that stupid kids are not exclusive to Yankee culture. This story also speaks to the primal fear of the schoolboy in all of us to not only get an erection that won't go away during school hours, but to have the school board tell the papers about it. Don't get me started on the six boys being taken to the hospital for observation. "It's not going to go away if you keep looking at it like that!"
Between this story, all that spam trying to sell me Viagra, and certain chatroom transcripts from recent nights (cryptic comment), hard-ons seem to have been a...ach-HEM...solid topic lately. It all makes me think of last week's Wrestlecrap entry on Sean Stasiak's unfortunate sidetrip in the WWF as "Meat". If you've blocked it out, Meat was a bizarre semi-sex slave character and sort of mascot for a group of women that got off on humiliating him. R.D. Reynolds covered the bases pretty well, but he left out the most disturbing image of the entire angle, when Terri Runnels spiked Stasiak's drink with Viagra before a match, with the result that he had to wrestle the Big Bossman sporting a woody. That by itself was very, VERY bad, but leave it to the Bossman to make it worse, because at one point when Stasiak was flat on his back, Bossman stomped on the erection hard. Brrrrrrr...
I'm sorry, I had to take a moment to curl up into a ball and quiver uncontrollably after dredging up that memory. I wasn't sucking my thumb this time, though. I need a soothing beverage now, so we'll have to pick this up another time...or preferably not.
Apparently it never occurred to them that if you take a boner pill, you're gonna get a boner. That's a logical gap usually connected with American school children, so it's very reassuring (or frightening, take your pick) that stupid kids are not exclusive to Yankee culture. This story also speaks to the primal fear of the schoolboy in all of us to not only get an erection that won't go away during school hours, but to have the school board tell the papers about it. Don't get me started on the six boys being taken to the hospital for observation. "It's not going to go away if you keep looking at it like that!"
Between this story, all that spam trying to sell me Viagra, and certain chatroom transcripts from recent nights (cryptic comment), hard-ons seem to have been a...ach-HEM...solid topic lately. It all makes me think of last week's Wrestlecrap entry on Sean Stasiak's unfortunate sidetrip in the WWF as "Meat". If you've blocked it out, Meat was a bizarre semi-sex slave character and sort of mascot for a group of women that got off on humiliating him. R.D. Reynolds covered the bases pretty well, but he left out the most disturbing image of the entire angle, when Terri Runnels spiked Stasiak's drink with Viagra before a match, with the result that he had to wrestle the Big Bossman sporting a woody. That by itself was very, VERY bad, but leave it to the Bossman to make it worse, because at one point when Stasiak was flat on his back, Bossman stomped on the erection hard. Brrrrrrr...
I'm sorry, I had to take a moment to curl up into a ball and quiver uncontrollably after dredging up that memory. I wasn't sucking my thumb this time, though. I need a soothing beverage now, so we'll have to pick this up another time...or preferably not.
|| Eric 7:29 AM#
