Friday, August 29, 2003
QUICK, DISJOINTED COMMENTS ABOUT THE MTV VMAs: I will now say for posterity what I was saying in chat tonight...the MTV Video Music Awards have become almost as lame as certain legitimate awards. I only watch the VMAs these days to gauge how out of touch I am with kid kultcha, and HOO BOY, I'm hopeless at this point. A few low points:
---The technical end was utterly inept; the Duran Duran lifetime achievement award was ruined by a video with no sound (ooooo live TV, gotta love it), the stars were badly miked during the presentation segments, and the director kept giving us reaction shots of audience members who weren't reacting whatsoever. Go for that Emmy, guys! Woo-hoo!
---The non-music highlight, hands down, was what Eminem did to Special Ed the Crank Yankers puppet ("I'm on MTV and it's my birthday! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!") But when Ed was doing another lame skit, screaming "BITCHES AND HOS, BITCHES AND HOS," MTV left "bitches" in but bleeped "hos." Can you say "mixed signals," kids? Of course you can't, you drooling morons.
---Johnny Cash got shut out by Justin Timberlake (quick fashion review: kid in his dad's clothes) AND Good Charlotte (quick music review: GOODGODGOUGEMYEARDRUMSOUTSOIDON'THAVETOSUFFER Charlotte, or Green Day With Less Green? You choose). Screw you, MTV. Screw you with a barbed wire dildo.
---Voice over of the night: "Coming up next, Metallica knock out the jams." KNOCK OUT THE JAMS. It's almost like the MC5 never existed.
---And who were these people we saw after the show? They couldn't be veejays, since MTV doesn't even SHOW videos anymore. Jon Norris and Kurt Loder were the only ones I recognized. Quick note to Loder: GNAW THROUGH YOUR RESTRAINTS AND MAKE A BREAK FOR IT. Sure, you've been with the network for a dog's age, but you're still an old school music journalist, for God's sake! Salvage whatever dignity you can.
---Oh yeah, you'll be hearing a lot about Madonna and Britney Spears kissing, so let me help you put that out of your mind...it was a peck on the lips. There's more sexual tension in the hug your grandma gives you at Christmas than what the Skank Trio did tonight.
However, that's my opinion...I could be wrong. OR I COULD BE THE RIGHTEST MAN YOU'LL EVER MEET IN THESE DARK AGES.
---The technical end was utterly inept; the Duran Duran lifetime achievement award was ruined by a video with no sound (ooooo live TV, gotta love it), the stars were badly miked during the presentation segments, and the director kept giving us reaction shots of audience members who weren't reacting whatsoever. Go for that Emmy, guys! Woo-hoo!
---The non-music highlight, hands down, was what Eminem did to Special Ed the Crank Yankers puppet ("I'm on MTV and it's my birthday! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!") But when Ed was doing another lame skit, screaming "BITCHES AND HOS, BITCHES AND HOS," MTV left "bitches" in but bleeped "hos." Can you say "mixed signals," kids? Of course you can't, you drooling morons.
---Johnny Cash got shut out by Justin Timberlake (quick fashion review: kid in his dad's clothes) AND Good Charlotte (quick music review: GOODGODGOUGEMYEARDRUMSOUTSOIDON'THAVETOSUFFER Charlotte, or Green Day With Less Green? You choose). Screw you, MTV. Screw you with a barbed wire dildo.
---Voice over of the night: "Coming up next, Metallica knock out the jams." KNOCK OUT THE JAMS. It's almost like the MC5 never existed.
---And who were these people we saw after the show? They couldn't be veejays, since MTV doesn't even SHOW videos anymore. Jon Norris and Kurt Loder were the only ones I recognized. Quick note to Loder: GNAW THROUGH YOUR RESTRAINTS AND MAKE A BREAK FOR IT. Sure, you've been with the network for a dog's age, but you're still an old school music journalist, for God's sake! Salvage whatever dignity you can.
---Oh yeah, you'll be hearing a lot about Madonna and Britney Spears kissing, so let me help you put that out of your mind...it was a peck on the lips. There's more sexual tension in the hug your grandma gives you at Christmas than what the Skank Trio did tonight.
However, that's my opinion...I could be wrong. OR I COULD BE THE RIGHTEST MAN YOU'LL EVER MEET IN THESE DARK AGES.
|| Eric 12:04 AM#
