Thursday, June 12, 2003
A FEW NOTES to some of the people I called as part of the telephone survey today, posted here where they'll be sure not to ever read them:
--To the lady who was asking "Are you done yet?" after only two questions: if the guy on the phone is done after two questions, they're not legit. The classification questions at the end take at least a minute; if it's shorter than that, the guy might be casing your place to see when you're not at home. I heard your TV jabbering soap operas in the background, so I know you weren't really busy. You can't fool me, cos I went to college.
--To the guy who said "The head of the house isn't in, and I'm not allowed to talk to you because I'm a child.": If you're going to try and pull that one off, don't say it in a baritone, unless you want me to believe you're a seven-year-old with a rare glandular conditon.
--To the woman who said "Stop calling here and harassing my family": This one is actually an interesting case. I checked the call record, just to be sure, and nobody at her number had ever answered for us. Our number doesn't show up on caller ID because of the way the system is set up, so unless the whole house is in a state where they're terrified of the phone, there's no way you can say we're the ones dogging you unless you actually pick up the phone and talk to us. They never did that, so my verdict? Paranoid nutcase. The situation reminded me of that Kids in the Hall sketch about the people terrified of the phone. "I heard that ring once before...IN 'NAM."
Still, she said the magic words ("don't call here"), so as a part of a legit organization, I marked her name off. I can't say this enough: the only way to make a telephone solicitor or a survey person go away is to tell them not to call. No other "clever" technique will work: screaming random curses into the phone doesn't count, making incoherent noises like a horny chimp is a no go, but the one that will guarantee a callback 100% of the time is to hang up without saying anything. In fact, most people will call you again on the same day if you do that; there are a million reasons why the line would drop without a word, while there's only one reason that a caller would say "don't call back". Just a word to maintain the sanity of the world. Later, gang.
--To the lady who was asking "Are you done yet?" after only two questions: if the guy on the phone is done after two questions, they're not legit. The classification questions at the end take at least a minute; if it's shorter than that, the guy might be casing your place to see when you're not at home. I heard your TV jabbering soap operas in the background, so I know you weren't really busy. You can't fool me, cos I went to college.
--To the guy who said "The head of the house isn't in, and I'm not allowed to talk to you because I'm a child.": If you're going to try and pull that one off, don't say it in a baritone, unless you want me to believe you're a seven-year-old with a rare glandular conditon.
--To the woman who said "Stop calling here and harassing my family": This one is actually an interesting case. I checked the call record, just to be sure, and nobody at her number had ever answered for us. Our number doesn't show up on caller ID because of the way the system is set up, so unless the whole house is in a state where they're terrified of the phone, there's no way you can say we're the ones dogging you unless you actually pick up the phone and talk to us. They never did that, so my verdict? Paranoid nutcase. The situation reminded me of that Kids in the Hall sketch about the people terrified of the phone. "I heard that ring once before...IN 'NAM."
Still, she said the magic words ("don't call here"), so as a part of a legit organization, I marked her name off. I can't say this enough: the only way to make a telephone solicitor or a survey person go away is to tell them not to call. No other "clever" technique will work: screaming random curses into the phone doesn't count, making incoherent noises like a horny chimp is a no go, but the one that will guarantee a callback 100% of the time is to hang up without saying anything. In fact, most people will call you again on the same day if you do that; there are a million reasons why the line would drop without a word, while there's only one reason that a caller would say "don't call back". Just a word to maintain the sanity of the world. Later, gang.
|| Eric 11:43 PM#
